we had a raccoon that lived in the house

Hillbilly wedding present when I got my spouse

his name was Jeremiah wouldn’t name him Rocky

he was really cocky with our dog a jockey

we gave him a bedroom he loved to dance the jig

it was hard to keep him in there

The little dude could dig

he’d jump up and grab the door knob

and swing it back and forth

He didn’t like Confinement

I guess he was getting bored

One Day he got drunk 

on Kalua and cream

we thought he was sick

wanted to intervene

can’t take him to the vet

he’s an illegal pet

but he finally sobered up

we found the half drunk cup

sometimes he’d shit on the living room floor

we’d rub his nose in it

throw him out the door

One day he figured he knew  what we’d want

He’d shit rub his nose in it

and go out front

raccoons are smarter than your average slug

but we still had to throw away that old rug


Jerimiah our pet racoon