John Doe


This came from a funny turn of events, I had broken up with a girlfriend but more from circumstance than any real problems with each other. She moved to Portland and about 9 months later I was thinking I would go visit her. I thought of a good convenient date when it would be good to go to Portland and when I mentioned it to her she said that her favorite band “X” was coming to town on that day. John Doe is the lead singer of “X”. I didn’t go, actually haven’t seen her since.

John Doe

Now I know where I rank

Just a step below John Doe

And who do I have to thank

For being ranked so fucking low?


I have no one to thank but myself

I set it up and took the fall

I can’t put my feelings on the shelf

Deal with the emotions, that’s all


Why do I get so sensitive?

Why does it hurt like a knife?

Why am I always defensive?

Why can’t I get on with my life?


I put myself out there in a vulnerable place

To share with the one that I love

And then I take it, like a slap in the face

Like a suicide counselor that shoves


But now I know where I rank

Just a step below John Doe

It feels like a cosmic prank

To put me in a state of woe


The perpetrator doesn’t even know it hurt

She has no sense for my feelings

She’s living in a bubble of her own design

So I must devise my own healings


I shouldn’t count on her anymore

If I do, in the least, I’m hurt

It no longer is, what it was before

Before, I was King, now I’m dirt


Why do I delve in this Emotional Pit?

Riding this downward spiral

Why do I cry and write this Shit?

I’m diseased, I think it’s Viral


But at least I know where I rank

Just a step below John Doe

My heart, to my feet it sank

But at least I finally know


When you’ve reached the bottom there’s no way but up

And I’m ready for the flight

Not half full, or half empty, it’s a dried up cup

But it is still full of light


So I’ll take my soul

And I’ll flush the crap

And I will feel whole

I will fill the gap


I will fill my life from the inside out

I will drink from the cup of Love divine

I will not whine and moan and pout

Omnipresent Love will shine


I really do not rank

A step below John Doe

From the cup of Love I’ve drank

Tasted the sacred flow


And now my heart is filled to the brim

Filled with a light and Love

My soul it shines bright and can’t be made dim

I am filled with a Love from above


And this Love cannot be taken away

This Love is mine eternal

This Love doesn’t bend or falter or sway

It’s a pure Love that’s almost Maternal


And this Love will see me through to the end

Through anxiety, and sadness, and panic

Either this Love is the perfect mend

Or else I’m a depressed Manic


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